Filling Up An Empty Nest
A MOTHER’S SOJOURN IN A BMW 430i AFTER SENDING HER SON OFF TO COLLEGE
As a road trip lover, I have a soft spot for Northern California. Its gorgeous winding roads have it all: sun, mountains, beach, fog, and those tall, tall redwoods. It always smells like eucalyptus, and there’s never a bad view. Driving there is downright therapeutic. That’s exactly why this summer I designed the road trip of my dreams — and made it reality.
In a way, it was a road trip 18 years in the making: I set off just 24 hours after moving my only child, a born and raised New Yorker, into his freshman dorm room in Los Angeles. It’s hard to describe the feeling, even now; an indelible combination of emptiness and excitement. And somehow, no tears...although that may be in part due to the fact that the night before moving in, my son had made me promise to let him drive to campus the following morning, and a slight GPS mixup (ok, I forgot to set it to “local roads only” as intended) put him on the freeway — for the first time in his life. And in the fast lane, no less. Starting move-in day in a quiet panic as he merged onto the 2 on a left-side entry ramp sent our adrenaline into overdrive. I’m convinced that’s why neither of us cried when we said our goodbyes.
Plus, my dream road trip! I traded the sensible SUV we’d used for Target and Bed Bath and Beyond runs for a gorgeous electric blue drop-top on a generous loan from BMW. Honestly, the car itself was a vacation. I’m a devoted lover of old cars — former owner of not one but two 90s Saabs, a 70s Volvo station wagon, a 60s Volkswagen bug, and current owner of a 2001 BMW station wagon. The Volvo wagon was my first car, and that vintage European vibe just stuck. Owning an old car is an emotional relationship; there’s a commitment to care for them that new rides don’t have, don’t need. It’s like you’re in it together, just the two of you. (And probably your mechanic.)
That said, I can’t lie: driving a 2022 430i was way. more. fun. Sexy on the outside, cozy on the inside. Curvy AND built for curves. Techy and yet still soulful thanks to the extra premium package. Having a GPS display on the windshield (!!!) was a fun feature, and super helpful: it helped me stay focused, but not miss anything, either. And honestly, I didn't know cars could charge your phone by just sitting in the console. I'm sure this isn't new news to most, but for me it was a gamechanger. No cords! We also got real fancy and cranked on the seat warmers while we had the top down. Such luxury! Goodbye, kid! Hello, me.
The roads loved her. And I loved putting her in Sport Mode. Again, I don’t know a ton about new cars, but I can tell you that the Dynamic Stability Control and Dynamic Traction Control were made for winding scenic drives. Together they pulled me back when I got a little too carried away looking at the view, which I’m sure made my best friend, Kelly, feel a little more at ease in the passenger seat. She’s my go-to travel companion: a native Californian, fellow road tripper lover, and designated photographer with superb taste who’s always down for an adventure. Our girl Nahiel — another California native — will join us later, too; together, they filled the car with good music, bad jokes and the best food.
Over one glorious week in early September we explored a little of Southern California on our way up Highway 1 before hitting the iconic Pacific Coast Highway with a pit stop in Big Sur. Then, a couple of nights in San Francisco before a long weekend exploring Sonoma County and Marin County. The whole thing was a sensory love letter to California dreaming. It was a road trip designed specifically to distract me from my new empty nest, and trust me, it worked. Now, though, back in Brooklyn, the only thing I’m really dreaming of is picking up the kid from the airport in a few weeks. Maybe I’ll even let him drive us home.
Until then, here’s a little taste of the best 600 miles of the West Coast.
HI OJAI
Yes, Virginia, there are mountains in Southern California. To get in the zone for our drive to Big Sur, we started out with one night in Ojai, a small charming town in the Topatopa Mountains. The newly-remodeled Capri Hotel is casual but chic, with a very cute pool and excellent in-room snacks. We spent the afternoon browsing the magical Bart’s Books, the world’s largest outdoor bookstore, and capped off the day sitting by the fire with a bottle of — what else? — California wine. College what?
LOW KEY LOS ALAMOS
Time to hit the road! But first, coffee. We hit up Prospect Coffee Roasters just outside Ojai in Ventura, a surfing hotspot on the coast. Our next destination was Los Alamos, a tiny but charming town a couple of hours up 101. There, we stayed at the adorable Skyview Hotel, a modern roadside motel in the Santa Ynez Valley. Dinner was at Pico, where I had a Vietnamese Brussels sprouts salad that’s hands down one of the most delicious things I’ve ever eaten. And don’t miss Bob’s Well Bread. It’s (well) worth the hype.
WHAT’S BETTER THAN BIG SUR?
Finally, PCH time. Cruising up the 1 is such a breathtaking experience. Take your time! Actually, you kind of have to — it’s a daylong drive. But if you time it correctly, you can catch a stunning sunset over the Pacific Ocean around Pescadero, about an hour south of San Francisco. Then again, it doesn’t really matter where you catch the sunset, does it? There are only a few spots to stop in on the way, but don’t miss the Henry Miller Bookstore in Big Sur. Another weird, wonderful outdoor bookstore. Nepenthe is a nice, fancy-ish restaurant right on the edge of the coast, Big Sur Bakery is more casual, and Deetjen’s has some of the best pancakes around.
A SAN FRANCISCO TREAT
I’ve lived in New York for over 20 years, but San Francisco is my favorite city. It’s beautiful, it’s complicated, and there’s much more than meets the eye here. As you may have heard, food and drinks are exquisite here, but put Pearl 6101 at the top of your list. The crudo! The spaghetti! The Pearl Martini! It’s a warm, beautiful room in the Richmond district. In Hayes Valley, I love Birba, a funky wine bar with tasty small plates. (Ask for Angie!) In the Mission, my new favorite spot is Buddy the Bar. Berkeley bonus: Snail Bar. Go there with friends so you can order the entire damn menu. And get the hot dog if you can.
ANOTHER SIDE OF NAPA
There’s no shortage of wineries in Sonoma County, but there’s only one Scribe. Driving in through the vineyard on a small road dotted with palm trees on either side leads you to the gorgeous hacienda that hosts wine tastings paired with delicious snacks made mostly with veggies grown on site. But the best move is nabbing a spot on the knoll, spreading out a Baja blanket and digging into one of their pitch-perfect charcuterie boards. For fun, make a pit stop at Jack’s Filling Station, a cute retro gas station that also sells craft beers, local wines, used records, vintage toys and old school penny candies. On the plaza in Sonoma proper, the girl & the fig is a standout.
THE GRAND FINALE
West Marin is just outside of the city, and it's a testament to just how much raw natural beauty the Bay Area packs into a relatively small area. I fell in love with this drive the first time I made it years ago, and it’s still at the very top of my list. It can be blustery and foggy. Or it can be clear and crisp. It really doesn’t matter. Head north out of the city on the 101 — it’ll take you over the Golden Gate Bridge — and take the Lucas Valley Road exit, which will loop you through a standout stretch of redwoods before opening up into the tiny town of Nicasio. But wait, it gets better. Pick up Hwy 1 again and head towards Point Reyes Station, where you should absolutely buy cheese at Cowgirl Creamery and books at Point Reyes Books. Keep going. Your final destination is The Marshall Store on Tomales Bay, where you’ll eat your weight in oysters grown just feet from your table. Get the raw ones, the grilled Rockerfellers, and, as crazy as it sounds, the BBQ ones, too. Eat all the grilled garlic sourdough. Go for the cold, crisp white. Watch the wind skip across the water. And start planning your next visit.
Photography by Kelly Mccabe